


The Day the Wind Blew

by Urby



Series: Azurrin Week [13]
Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Angst, Azurrin Week 2018, Invisible Kingdom | Revelation Route, Post-Game(s), Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-16
Updated: 2018-09-16
Packaged: 2019-07-12 23:25:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16005497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Urby/pseuds/Urby
Summary: The final battle is over, and...why is she still here? Azurrin week 2018, September 15th: Family / Isolation





	The Day the Wind Blew

**Author's Note:**

> Remember in _Break My World_ where I said the "third part" would be where Corrin and Azura get together and there was hope it would be happy? hahaha (maybe in a possible part 4)
> 
> i had a long day at work and i rushed to get this done, i'm not sure if it's actually any good

Anankos was gone, finally put to rest.

And Azura...still stood, still saw the pieces of broken Valla with her own eyes, still drew breath. Her body ached far too much for it to be a dream, but...

_I am not supposed to be here. Why am I here? Did I not have to sing?_

The song she had held close to her heart nearly her entire life, one that she knew would kill her, knowing that there were verses that she could not even sing...she did not even have to use it. The combined forces of Corrin's army: Nohrian, Hoshidan, and whatever traces of Vallite were still left, had been enough.

Her first thought was that she had failed. She was supposed to melt away, to be some figment of history or imagination by now. The future didn't have room for the last of Cadros' line. It was a time for peace between Hoshido and Nohr, without Valla imposing itself between them.

"It's done," Corrin breathed, and despite their distance, Azura could hear him clearly. The battlefield was so silent that surely everyone present could hear him. "It's over...the fighting is over."

He dropped to a kneel, the Omega Yato being the only thing keeping him from totally collapsing.

"I think we all deserve some time," he said, breathless. "Lilith, if you're listening, bring us back..."

The little Astral Dragon winked into existence by his head, giving a nod before warping the army towards familiar, peaceful grounds. Azura felt herself being taken with the rest and almost had the strength to protest.

Had they not saved Valla? Was that not where she belonged?

* * *

The next few days were a blur.

Weary as they were, the gathered royals decided quickly that Valla deserved a place in the world once again. It was a decision that would include much more than just them, and they would have to have these negotiations again with relevant landowners, but while Corrin's army was still recovering from the climactic battle, they discussed what sort of land and resources would be distributed to house the refugees and citizens of a new country.

Azura lived through these moments in a haze. She tried to make the negotiations as smooth as possible by agreeing to as much as she could. Yes, it would be nice to have water in Valla. A trading port as a capital would be a good idea, though it would mean a decent amount of construction, yes. When pressed for her own suggestions, she yielded, saying that she was in no position to make requests.

After all, she shouldn't have been there. Valla may have deserved to be reborn, but she didn't feel like she herself deserved to live.

On the third night, she asked Corrin to meet her alone. The two of them hadn't had time to be together since the end of the battle with Anankos, so he readily agreed.

"Are you alright? You look tired," he said, though he didn't look much better. He took a hold of her hands, warming them with his own.

"To be honest, I still can't believe we're here," she said, barely aware of the words coming out of her mouth. "Corrin, I have something I wish to give you."

His eyes brightened and a light smile flickered across his face. "Oh! Thank you, I --"

Azura chuckled softly. "You don't even know what it is yet," she sighed, closing her eyes. "...Actually, I may be giving you two things."

"You spoil me with your presence _and_ with gifts! I'm going to have to figure something out for you!"

She felt the breath moving in her body. Then, she unclasped the heaviest burden from her neck and pooled it into her hands. After a steadying sigh, she opened her eyes and poured her necklace into Corrin's waiting palms.

"Azura, this is..." he began, staring at it for a long moment. "You can't give this to me, this is the last thing you can remember your mother by --"

"It is a symbol of Vallite royalty," she said flatly. "And now that Anankos has fallen, it is nothing more."

Corrin's expression slowly changed to a frown. His mouth worked behind his lips.

"I also give you the crown of Valla, though I have no token of that. Valla is becoming a land of new beginnings, and at its head should be someone who has the wellbeing of everyone in mind. Therefore, I abdicate its throne to you."

Genuine confusion spread across his face, fighting with his frown. "Valla won't need royalty for a while yet, and you will be with me, Azura. Remember? I..." he sighed. "I didn't promise last night, but I promise it now: I'm going to propose to you."

Azura knew that she should offer a promise back, or at least acknowledge his sentiment. At the same time, she also knew she should stop lying to him.

"It's time to put Valla's silent past behind. It's a past that I and this pendant are a part of," she said instead. "I know that Valla will have a bright future under your watch."

"I won't leave you behind," he said. "I want you by my side, so that you can light the way."

Her breath left her in a helpless laugh. "How is it that you can turn my words against me so poetically?"

"I have a very good muse," he said, smiling sheepishly.

Azura closed her hands around his, keeping the pendant secure in his grasp. "This is yours now, to do with what you wish."

Corrin's gaze fell to their hands. Then, drawing his back towards himself, he tentatively took the pendant and wore it around his neck. He considered it awhile, then said, "I think it suits you better."

"It's my gift to you," she said. "That means I won't take it back."

He held the charm on it between his fingers, his touch delicate. "Thank you for these gifts, Azura," he said.

"Thank you for accepting them," she said, relief swimming through her body.

* * *

Nights were long and difficult to get through. Dark thoughts hounded Azura's mind. Sleep, if it came at all, was sputtery and exhausting. Images of Valla - the broken, falling apart Valla, not the one being born with fresh expectations - haunted her. Her mind spent more time there than in the Astral Plane. It was the land she inherited. Her ancestral home.

Like it, she should have been forgotten. No matter how hard she tried to think ahead towards a bright future, the past and the unshakable fact that she should have already been dead kept surfacing in her thoughts.

If she went back to Valla, someone might look for her there...but she had other ways of disappearing. A modest offering quieted Anna's questions, and a few moments later, Azura found herself in an unused Deeprealm. There was a small settlement, doubtless filled with people who would shelter her gladly, but she made her way to the forest nearby, hiding in the shade. It took her a few hours to find a river, and another hour after that to find the lake that it gathered at.

She had a seat at the lake's edge and finally, finally, felt her mind empty.

* * *

"Has anyone seen Azura?"

Corrin was met with shaking heads and condolences. No one had seen or heard of her for the past few days.

He was running out of ideas. Where could she have gone? There was no way she could have slipped out of the Astral Plane without someone knowing. Even Lilith was unsure, and she even came with him to search the empty, broken Valla.

No sign of Azura. Not even a footprint or a hair.

There was one person he hadn't spoken to yet, and he was afraid of what he would find out.

"I _might_ have seen her around," Anna said, her smile slipping minutely.

"Please, I need a yes or no answer. We haven't seen her in a few days, and I'm worried she might need help."

Anna tapped her finger against her cheek. Then, she said, "I will tell you where she is for [*] gold," she said finally.

Corrin blinked hard. He took a breath in and out. Then, he threw his money pouch and several of Lilith's gold bars out on the table. "This is more than enough. Keep everything if you can lead me to her," he said.

Anna's eyes widened, flickering over each gold bar as she made calculations. After a moment, she said, "I didn't think you would actually do it."

Corrin remained stony-faced.

"She paid for her privacy in a deeprealm," Anna explained, making no moves to return his gold. "If you're concerned about her safety, then I can show you what deeprealm it is, but not where she is in it. If she's mad at you and you need a gift to placate her, I have a selection you can browse before you go."

* * *

Letting herself die passively was one of the most difficult things Azura had ever done. It seemed simple in her head, to stop taking in food or water until she withered away. And yet...she kept caving in, filling the void inside of herself with a morsel or sip.

If only the weather was a little worse in this deeprealm, because then she would have just let herself die of exposure. Alas, she could not even achieve that. She resolved to live out the rest of her days in isolation - with luck, she would pass away of old age or some other reason before a few years passed outside the deeprealm.

The dreaming and waking world blurred, so she would sometimes see shadows out of the corners of her eyes. Some of them were wreathed in flames, some of them were familiar faces. Mikoto and Arete were among the shadows, though Azura was relieved every time she found them and they appeared untouched by Anankos' corruption. Perhaps she would see them again soon. Perhaps not.

"Azura!"

The shadows hadn't spoken to her up until just then, and she stirred, lost in her thoughts. It was Corrin's voice...come to think of it, her imagination hadn't conjured up Corrin as one of the shadows so far. That was good; she didn't know what she would do if she thought too much about him now.

"Azura!"

Noting the voice's direction, she turned...and almost screamed, because instead of a simple shadow or figment of her imagination, there was a very solid, very sad-looking Corrin standing some distance away from her.

Her first instinct was to jump into the water. He saw her make a move towards it and lifted his palms. "Please, wait, can we talk?"

"Why?"

"Because I love and care about you and I think you're trying to hurt yourself."

Azura tried not to sigh, closing her eyes. "And what will talking do, if you think that is the case?"

This gave him pause. "Then at least I will know a little more," he said. "And then I can help you."

"You have better things to do, Corrin, than try to save me."

There was a pause. She hoped the silence was because she was getting through to him.

"Valla's song is no longer needed," she continued. "And the memory of it can be buried. The pendant as well, if you so choose. I will follow suit."

"Why do you..." Corrin began, his voice sounding as if it was about to crack.

"You were always more important than I was - as a sibling to others, and now, as a royal and diplomat in the world to come. I'm just -- historical baggage, not worth anything anymore," she said, wanting to chew through her own tongue with every word.

"Why do you keep thinking you have to be useful?" he cried, his footfalls quick towards her. Her eyes flew open in time to see him approach her. "Sometimes you can just _be_! Sometimes being around is enough!"

"Is whatever comfort I can provide worth whatever it would cost to keep me alive? To keep --"

" _Yes!_ " Corrin exclaimed, grabbing her arms. "Don't you dare talk about your own life like that!"

Azura couldn't meet his gaze - intense, draconic, even - without wanting to burst into tears. He was indignant, but not exactly at her...even though it was easy to imagine he was. It would have made things easier.

Instead, she clenched her eyes shut and said, "I have been keeping secrets from you."

"Tell me, Azura. Please. No more secrets. There's no more curse to be afraid of."

"I..." she began. She could take back her words, to just disappear without telling the truth. "I should have died in the battle with Anankos. And I was..."

Her eyes blinked open. His expression had changed from one of frustration to one of concern.

"I was planning on dying," she said. "I believed I would have needed to draw so much power from the pendant that it would have destroyed me. And somehow, thanks to you...wonderful, incredible you," she couldn't help but laugh, but it was bitter even to her own ears. "Again, why do I need to be around if you are? I didn't die, and now I don't know what to with myself."

Corrin's ears seemed to droop, such was his sorrow. It was a long time before he spoke, and Azura wished he would release her and just leave her instead of look at her with that something between love and pity.

"Do you resent me, Azura? Do you hate me?"

"Why do you think that?" she asked. His question honestly surprised her.

"The way you talk, I'm starting to think that you have more secrets that you've been keeping from me," he said.

This was the perfect opportunity to put on a disdainful facade, to become something that he would discard and move on from. Wasn't that what she had been preparing for? Wasn't that why she ran away? She could end everything right now, she could send him back towards reason, she could --

The longer she thought about what she should do, the greater the hole in her chest became. She knew what she _wanted_ to do already, and the fact that it wasn't what she _should_ do was tearing her apart. She pushed her face towards his chest, shedding tears into his clothing.

"Corrin, I love you so much," she said, her voice hushed. "And seeing you try to help me hurts so, so much."

Instead of gripping her arms, he moved to embrace her, his arms light around her back. She could break away from him if she was stronger in both heart and body, but her she was neither after so long in isolation and starvation.

"I am going to ask you to reveal one more secret," he said softly but firmly.

She nodded.

"Do you want to die?"

One of her hands fisted in his cape.

"Tell me what you feel, not what you think," he added quickly. "Be honest with me. That's all I ask."

"I..."

She did not enjoy making choices. Corrin could make these sorts of choices, and make the correct one, but she didn't know how.

"If I am with you, even if I'm nothing more than a shadow, then I think I can bear living."

His embrace warmed as he held her closer, but not tighter. She slowly returned the embrace.

"I'm not ready to go back," she said.

"Then we'll stay here until you are."

He brought her to the deeprealm village and convinced her to have a proper bed and a meal. That evening, he asked her if he could join her, and she found herself allowing it. His body was warm, and she clung to him beneath the sheets. He cupped her face in response.

"When you feel better," he whispered, "I want you to help me build a new Valla. A home for us. For our family."

"I don't know anything about statecraft," she countered weakly.

"Neither do I. But we can learn," he said, kissing her forehead. "I think you'd be good at it."

"I might be a better student of politics than you would," she mused. He gasped at the joke and laughed softly.

"The new Valla shouldn't be silent," he said, sleepiness bleeding into his words. "I want your song to brighten its future."

Azura held onto that thought until she fell asleep. It kept the nightmares at bay.


End file.
